dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
