Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
look no pants
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
