My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
