he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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