She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
