If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you inspire me to be a worse person
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
