called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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