He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just gargled with NyQuil
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
