i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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