Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
