but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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