that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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