apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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