He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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