i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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