Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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