i just had sex bonerless
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
