I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize