If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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