Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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