Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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