Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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