i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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