You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
