how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
