In America we eat man semen.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
