I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
