i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
