i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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