Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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