Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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