Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
