dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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