i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize