She is in my trunk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize