Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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