lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
