i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
