my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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