Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
