She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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