More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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