No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize