Just fell off a train. Bad.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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