You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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