I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
