apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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