did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
