she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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