Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
