I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
