Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
