Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
