More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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