chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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