im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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