No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
