Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
