i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
