So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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