Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
