How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
