is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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