Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
