Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
